BREAKING: Great White Shark Spotted Near Sturgeon Bay Ship Canal

STURGEON BAY, WI. — last updated 9:30 p.m. Sunday, July 28th, 2019.

Numerous reports of what is believed to be a “large great white shark swimming near the Sturgeon Bay Ship Canal” have flooded into the DoBros. Headquarters over the past weekend. Being the cutting-edge, news-first, media organization that we are, we sent out some of our finest reporters to find out more about the story.

It all started on the evening of Friday, July 26th as a pair of local fishermen were testing their luck out near the Ship Canal. As the men began casting their lines, they started to notice large ripples of water accumulating near the edges of the seawall. “Nothin’ seemed out of the ordinary far as we knew”, one of the men explained. “Yah we’d seen all sorts of big ones come swimmin’ tru da canal before” another chimed in. But what seemed like any other night fishing by the Canal soon turned into one for the history books:

Jimmy Dickens, Local Fisherman:“Christ, I remember sendin’ out my third cast er-so and I seen dis dorsal fin start hoverin’ ‘round the surface of the water. I look over to Bob and I says, “Hey Bob, what is that over yonder?!” And Bob says back to me “If my own two eyes ain’t deceivin’ me, I think I just seen a shark!” Sure as the Pope’s Catholic, Bob says that and this shark the size of a school bus jumps out of the water. Looked just like that one from Jaws.”

Actual footage from the 1975 classic “Jaws” for reference.

Interested in finding out more about this incredible story, we began to seek out additional eyewitnesses that could possibly confirm the presence of the great white. The next sighting occurred during the afternoon of Saturday, July 27th near the North Pierhead Lighthouse:

Kelly Gibbs, Tourist From The Suburbs of Chicago: "Oh my gosh I just love Door County! I’ve been coming up here for years and there have always been sharks! I remember this one time when I was little we saw a shark on Lake Michigan. Have you ever been to Al Johnson’s? I think they have sharks there!

Photo via Kelly Gibbs, Tourist From The Suburbs of Chicago.

Despite the valid points made by Kelly, we still needed further proof before confirming the unbelievable rumor. After searching up and down the horizon near the Door County Land Trust’s Ship Canal Nature Preserve on Sunday evening, we ran into a colorful character by the name of Drew North who had a story we couldn’t turn down:

Drew North, Local Bro: Yeeeaahhh bro you should’a been here yesterday! I was out here catchin’ chop, you know, legit barrels and stuff. The waves were flowin’ and I was floating out at the sandbar waiting for the right break. All of a sudden I see this dime of a wave, reeeaaaal beaut bro, and it comes right for me. So naturally I roll with it till I can get on top, and as soon as I stand up, this dorsal surfaces next to me. I start thinking to myself, “No freaking way bro, not a chance. This CAN’T be happening!” And sure enough, this beast knocks fins with the board and sends me flying. I surfaced somewhere near the beach and hauled ass to shore. Luckily I made it without even a ding on the board.”

Photo via Drew North, Local Bro.

So there you have it. Three credible, undeniable, first-hand accounts of a great white sighting near the Sturgeon Bay Ship Canal. We’ll continue to monitor the story as new information arises in order to keep you informed. In the meantime, we advise using caution when swimming in the local waters of Lake Michigan. There’s no telling when a great white will strike, so be sure to check out these articles on how to avoid shark attacks, how to survive shark attacks, and how to treat shark attacks. It would seem as if the term “Shark Week” has taken on a new meaning in Door County, folks!

DISCLAIMER: This story is entirely fabricated for the purpose of light-hearted, local humor. With the exception of public figures, places, and landmarks, The DoBros. use all invented names in our stories. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental.